Getting an HIV-positive result can feel like your world is crashing, but it isn’t the end—it’s the beginning of a new chapter. Whether you were born with HIV, contracted it through sexual contact, or another route, one truth remains: HIV is a medical condition, not a measure of your morality. Sadly, stigma and misinformation still cloud public perception, but it’s time to change that. This piece by Anagha Wendy, an adherence counselor for people living with HIV and Aids, offers honest, compassionate, and practical guidance on what steps to take after a diagnosis, what to avoid, and how to choose life daily—even in the face of fear, judgment, or uncertainty.
By Anagha Wendy
Benin City
11th June 2025.
Now that you’ve recently been diagnosed with HIV.
Some people were born with HIV, most people get it through sexual contact, others get it from other risk factors like sharing sharp objects, blood transfusions, etc.
A lot of people believe that being HIV positive means that a person is promiscuous. You know, “dem too dey waka.” I can assure you that you don’t need 20 partners to contract HIV.
All it takes is one partner who is HIV positive is either not on medication, doesn’t know their status, or hasn’t accepted their diagnosis. Or you meet those with the “no be only me go die” mindset.
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A person living with HIV with an undetectable viral load CANNOT give you HIV. Those of you who will see ARVs (antiretroviral drugs) in your spouse’s house and then come online to post it and talk anyhow, be grateful. The fact that they even have ARVs should tell you that they’re serious about their health.
Being HIV negative doesn’t mean you’ll never get HIV. This is why I tell my friends that we have only HIV positive people and window-period people. When you get tested and you’re negative, the results read “negative as at 11th June 2025.” Like a Nollywood plot twist, your status can change at the slightest mistake.
This is why you should use all prevention methods, even in marriage. Cos na there most of una dey lose guard. Next thing, you’re finding out your HIV status during ANC (Antenatal Care).
So, you’ve just found out that you have HIV. What to do?
Finding out you have HIV can be a hectic situation. Being HIV positive doesn’t make you a bad person and doesn’t mean you’re loose either.
“But I’m very loyal to my partner nau.” But you’re sharing pedicure items at the salon. Even had a situation where two roommates were sharing a shaving stick.
HIV is not a morality test. If it were, what would we say about babies who are born with it? Unfortunately, our society has made it a morality issue, and this continues to fuel stigma.
Finding out you have HIV will change your life. It’s in your hands to decide if it’ll threaten it too or not. You can manage the virus with ARVs and still live your best life.
What to do when you’re newly diagnosed with HIV?
- Cry and scream if you have to. It’s valid.
- Start ARVs asap. This is step one to leading a full and healthy life.
- Get therapy, talk to an adherence counselor, or get support group counseling. These are essentials in your new journey.
- Understand that your life doesn’t end with your HIV diagnosis. If anything, another chapter just began.
What NOT to do?
- Running away from your diagnosis and refusing treatment.
- Going to your spiritual leaders. It’s only a few of them who’ll encourage you back to the clinic. Others might decree that it’s not your portion. “Whose report shall you believe, that of the Lord or that tomboy girl who gave you your results?”
- Don’t go around seeking “HIV cures.” That’s one rabbit hole that only God can save you from. Not only will you spend lots of money, but some of these treatments will also do long-term or irreparable damage to your body. And your mental health will suffer. Because what do you think will happen every time you get a positive result after completing one of those cures? Premium tears. Worst case? Who you wan tell say dem scam you?
- Don’t be in a hurry to disclose to anyone. I understand that it can be heavy, and sometimes you just need to tell somebody. While disclosure is encouraged, you have no idea how the person will react. Relax. Accept your status first. Heal from the self-stigma and be mentally prepared for any outcome.
- Don’t start the ARVs if you’re not certain of continuity. Yes, you’ve accepted your status and are now looking good. Next thing, you’ve dumped medication. “Maybe e don clear o. See as I come fresh.” It is better you don’t start at all than stop halfway.
Finally, accepting your HIV status is NOT an event. It’s a continuing process. Everyday you just have to wake up and choose life.
PS: If you don’t know your status in this big 2025, this is your sign to get tested today.
