The Emir of Kano, Muhammad Sanusi II has spurred Nigerians into debate mixed reactions after mentioning how he advises his daughters when they get married, to not tolerate domestic violence from their husbands.
In the statement he said, he tells his daughters, when they are married, if their husband slaps them, they should slap him back, they should not come home and tell him their husband slapped them..
“When my daughters are getting married, I say to them, if your husband slaps you, and you come home and tell me my husband slapped me, without slapping him back first, I will slap you myself because I did not send my daughter to marry somebody so he can slap her,” he said.
The Emir made this statement at the National Dialogue Conference on Gender-Based Violence (GBV), which had its dots from the Islamic perspective.
The Monarch while speaking, condemned domestic violence, the act of husbands beating their wives and hurting them. Mentioning that even though the Koran had said one could beat his erring wife lightly, that is, using chewing stick or handkerchief, that the cases are seldom so, especially when one is angry.
Husbands have gone ahead to beat their wives against the dictates of the Islamic teachings.
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“You can take that verse and say that as a husband, I’ve been given this permission to beat my wife light. And nobody will deny that, nobody will say it is haram if you comply with all the rules. But if you live in a society in which those rules are never applied, nobody who is angry remembers to look for a chewing stick or a handkerchief.
“They just slap these women and punch them and kick them and beat them,” he said.
The Emir of Kano supported his claims with data, saying that domestic violence has contributed to 45 per cent of marriage issues and divorces in Kano State. This he discovered through a Doctorate Thesis on Family Law he undertook. He continued to mention case studies of such events.
“I just wrote a doctorate thesis on family law, and I did research on nine courts, nine Sharia courts in Kano. 41 per cent of the cases over a five-year period had to do with maintenance. 26 per cent had to do with harm. And out of those, 45 per cent were cases of wife beating, domestic violence. And when we go to the content analysis, not one case of wife beating was light beating.
“We had women whose limbs were broken. We had women whose teeth were knocked out. We had women who were victims of constant beating with sticks. We had women where the husband and his other wives beat one of the wives. We’ve had cases of Cardis having to send her sons to trial for criminal assault because of the nature of the beating against their wives. This is the common beating that happens,” the Emir stated.
Emir Sanusi admonished wife beating, and the beating of a woman, and pronounced it as a crime, even if one uses handkerchief or chewing stick, that it is prohibited. He called it “haram”.
He said all harm must be removed in marriages, and reiterated his intolerance for such, stating that he wouldn’t want his daughter to come and tell him she was beaten by her husband, that any man who does not love his daughter will have to send her back to him, rather than beat her.
“Beating your wife or beating your daughter or beating a woman is prohibited. It is a crime. Let’s not even talk about handkerchief or chewing stick. It is just haram. It is prohibited. Allah says, All harm must be removed. And beating, gender-based violence is harm. And it must be removed.
“It just does not make sense. Now I said it before, and I know I’ve been attacked for it, and I’ll continue saying it. When my daughters are getting married, I say to them, if your husband slaps you, and you come home and tell me my husband slapped me, without slapping him back first, I will slap you myself because I did not send my daughter to marry somebody so he can slap her. If you do not like her, send her back to me. But don’t beat her,” Emir Sanusi said.
In the same vein, the Emir also urged parents to teach their daughters not to tolerate it, and to teach their sons never to indulge in such behaviors. That violence against any human being is a violation of the basic dignity of a human being.
Many have shown disapproval with the Emir’s statements, pointing that two wrongs cannot make right, while a lot others after getting full details of the statement have applauded the Emir’s stance.
Senator Shehu Sani while reacting to the Emir’s statement showed disapproval, stating that the Emir’s approval of slapping and slapping back will only amplify the violence.
That instead, couple should learn to control themselves when the devil temporary visits. That husband should walk out of the house when he is angry and come back later, while the wife should just keep quiet. That both parties should learn to say “sorry”, noting it as an ultimate equalizer.
The senator pointed out that no human is perfect, that even most of the people attending mass weddings are divorced. He advised that when one is getting married, the person ought to know he/she is not getting married to an angel, hence he/she must learn to tolerate each other.
Because slapping and slapping back would never help matters, in fact, once that happens, such marriage has already been destroyed, even if the couple remain together.
